Having a second child has been more difficult for me than expected. I was not prepared for the heartache of what
literally felt like a breaking up or falling out with the love of my life: my
first born. I had not read about this in
any blogs, vlogs, or anything. I mean, I
had read about the difficulty of managing your time between two kids, but no
one mentioned how difficult it would be to step back from your obsession with
your first and only child to love another.
It did make me resent my time alone with Leila a bit in the beginning
because that meant Ethan was off having fun with daddy while I was stuck at
home sustaining a newborn. My first love
was learning about a life beyond mama.
It felt like knife wounds to the heart.
This is how I came to realize what it really means to sacrifice. I willingly give up something that I hold so
dear and close to my heart for the sake of someone else. It hurts and it is an uphill battle to try to
make amends with those that feel wronged (including myself), but I trudge
on. Hoping beyond hopes that I will be
able to find a happy balance of time and devotion to each member of my family,
including myself.
My friend Isabel recently asked me about my must haves for new parents, and it inspired me to post about all the things I wish someone told me as a new parent. First, cherish this time that you're welcoming your first child. It might be your one and only or it might be one of many. But, it will be a very special time because this child is what makes you a mom for the first time. I think back on the time when I was caring for Ethan as a baby, and it just seemed so innocent and special then. Also, you cannot spoil your baby. Nevermind what parents from an older generation say; It is not possible to spoil a baby. It's true that the baby will develop habits based on what you do, but there is time later for setting good behaviors. It's true that you don't need a lot to take care of a baby, but there are some things that are around these days that make life a bit easier. I remember reading Charles Duhigg's "The Power of Habit" book last year and how i
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