Having a second child has been more difficult for me than expected. I was not prepared for the heartache of what
literally felt like a breaking up or falling out with the love of my life: my
first born. I had not read about this in
any blogs, vlogs, or anything. I mean, I
had read about the difficulty of managing your time between two kids, but no
one mentioned how difficult it would be to step back from your obsession with
your first and only child to love another.
It did make me resent my time alone with Leila a bit in the beginning
because that meant Ethan was off having fun with daddy while I was stuck at
home sustaining a newborn. My first love
was learning about a life beyond mama.
It felt like knife wounds to the heart.
This is how I came to realize what it really means to sacrifice. I willingly give up something that I hold so
dear and close to my heart for the sake of someone else. It hurts and it is an uphill battle to try to
make amends with those that feel wronged (including myself), but I trudge
on. Hoping beyond hopes that I will be
able to find a happy balance of time and devotion to each member of my family,
including myself.
Ever since becoming a mom, convenience has been the name of the game. Believe it or not, it's difficult to even find time to get to the market. Therefore, I'd say about 99% of my shopping happens online now. Subscription boxes have become a staple for me. I used to be subscribed to birchbox, the makeup/skincare sample service, but a girl only needs so many sample packets. Once I found out about these 3 below, I was hooked. First, is my citrus lane subscription box. It's a service that delivers stuff that my baby can use. I should also mention that ever since becoming a mom, I have developed a baby stuff buying addiction. If there's an AA group for that, I probably should join it. But, in my defense, if there's something that can help make our lives easier, funner, or smarter for baby, what parent would deny that? I've gotten 3 boxes so far, and I've really liked/used every item I've received....
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