Having a second child has been more difficult for me than expected. I was not prepared for the heartache of what
literally felt like a breaking up or falling out with the love of my life: my
first born. I had not read about this in
any blogs, vlogs, or anything. I mean, I
had read about the difficulty of managing your time between two kids, but no
one mentioned how difficult it would be to step back from your obsession with
your first and only child to love another.
It did make me resent my time alone with Leila a bit in the beginning
because that meant Ethan was off having fun with daddy while I was stuck at
home sustaining a newborn. My first love
was learning about a life beyond mama.
It felt like knife wounds to the heart.
This is how I came to realize what it really means to sacrifice. I willingly give up something that I hold so
dear and close to my heart for the sake of someone else. It hurts and it is an uphill battle to try to
make amends with those that feel wronged (including myself), but I trudge
on. Hoping beyond hopes that I will be
able to find a happy balance of time and devotion to each member of my family,
including myself.
This year has been, what can we say; Disruptive, strange, and hard. We were supposed to go on an epic Japan adventure sans kids for the first time, party at the BTS concert together, and explore more of LA as a family to name a few of our plans. Instead, we tried to make the most of remote learning, rearranged our home to accommodate two work from home parents, worked our butts off to retain both of our jobs, and found small ways to keep the sanity. To focus on the bright spots though: 1. We are now raising some cute fish in a 10 gallon tank 2. Tie dying has become a family hobby 3. We enjoy quality family time every weekend with a lunch {& boba drinks} & movie date (Disney's Onward and Netflix's Over the Moon are standout favs) 4. Netflix & Kdrama has become a fond pastime for Eleen & Lucas (Netflix's Signal and It's Okay to Not Be Okay are excellent) 5. No one has been sick for a whole year (with kids in preschool & elementary school normall...
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