Last night, we ordered some Thai Basil to go because it was so late by the time I got home. It's been a little while since we got food from there, so I had kind of forgotten how yummy our usual was. We always order: Spicy Basil Fried Rice (usually with seafood for more flavor) and Pad Kee Maw (it's a less-saucy version of pad see ew). Lucas finished first and headed upstairs to work on homework, so I was left with the rest of the food. Usually, we have to pack up leftovers, but it was so tasty! I told myself that I should just finish it all to avoid having to put it in a storage container. I was so full afterwards that this pic of Tina is very fitting for my current state at the time:
Having a second child has been more difficult for me than expected. I was not prepared for the heartache of what literally felt like a breaking up or falling out with the love of my life: my first born. I had not read about this in any blogs, vlogs, or anything. I mean, I had read about the difficulty of managing your time between two kids, but no one mentioned how difficult it would be to step back from your obsession with your first and only child to love another. It did make me resent my time alone with Leila a bit in the beginning because that meant Ethan was off having fun with daddy while I was stuck at home sustaining a newborn. My first love was learning about a life beyond mama. It felt like knife wounds to the heart. This is how I came to realize what it really means to sacrifice. I willingly give up something that I hold so dear and close to my heart for the sake of someone else. It hurts and it is an uphill battle to try...
cute Tina tummy!
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