My friend Isabel recently asked me about my must haves for new parents, and it inspired me to post about all the things I wish someone told me as a new parent.
First, cherish this time that you're welcoming your first child. It might be your one and only or it might be one of many. But, it will be a very special time because this child is what makes you a mom for the first time. I think back on the time when I was caring for Ethan as a baby, and it just seemed so innocent and special then. Also, you cannot spoil your baby. Nevermind what parents from an older generation say; It is not possible to spoil a baby. It's true that the baby will develop habits based on what you do, but there is time later for setting good behaviors.
It's true that you don't need a lot to take care of a baby, but there are some things that are around these days that make life a bit easier. I remember reading Charles Duhigg's "The Power of Habit" book last year and how in data mining, Target "targets" those that will become new parents because they are uniquely positioned to spend the most money in their lifetime. It makes sense if you think about it. When I was preparing to welcome Ethan, I didn't know what I needed or what was that one item that would save my sanity during those sleepless nights. To a certain point, you do have to try out some things in order to know if it's good for you or not. However, you don't have to buy everything brand new to find out. We bought quite a few things off craigslist or from friends, as well as online consignment shops. There are some purchases that I regret, and I'll get into that further down.
Clothes
Don't buy clothes. Ok, you can buy some that you really like, but trust me, you will receive so many as gifts even if you never asked for them. This day in age, clothes are so easy to come by and have the highest turnover under the age of 1. You don't know if your baby will come out as a super chubster where they might skip the newborn size entirely, or if they're in that size for a month or so. Regardless, the size of newborn, 3 months, 3-6 months, 6 months, etc., all the way up to 12 months will fly by. Your kid will not start wearing the same clothes for more than a few months until they hit a year. Do buy quality clothes like from Gap over Carter's for better resale value. There are apps like Totspot and ThredUp where you can buy baby clothes that are brand new with tags or only slightly worn (because babies grow so quickly). Socks are kind of pointless because they never stay on, and don't buy too many of one thing. For example, you won't know if you'll just want to put your baby in onesies all day or in cute outfits for photo ops. You'll only know once they're here and all the clothes are only a click away.
Breastfeeding
If you plan on breastfeeding, know that it will be difficult. Throwing some formula into a bottle with some water is so much faster and easier than having to maintain breastfeeding. Yes, you have to wash a lot of bottles, but I'm sure it's easier than having to wash oily breastmilk from bottles (the unscented Dapple dish cleanser is my fav), dealing with sore/cracked nipples, or just trying to maintain some modesty while feeding your baby while eating out. But, they always says breast is best, so I suppose it's worth it to stick to it. It's super important to get the latch right early in the game. If you don't, you will suffer for a long while. You can get a free electric breast pump from your insurance these days. I went through the Target program this time around to get mine, and was able to get an electric medela one. The breast friend pillow is superior to the boppy. But, there are times when the boppy can come in handy as well like to prop up your baby or do a modified tummy time. I favor the Lansinoh disposable nursing pads as well as milk storage bags. The full busted, seamless nursing sleep bra from Motherhood maternity is my favorite bra for all-time use while not working. For my second baby, I was introduced to the Milkies Milk-Saver, which has been great for collecting milk while nursing on the other side. I've collected so much milk that I don't need to pump to develop a freezer stash, and I don't feel as bad tossing milk that has gone beyond 4 days in the refrigerator.
Diapers
When I was pregnant with Ethan, I asked a 2-time mom to give me a ballpark figure of how many diapers she went through in the beginning stages. I also made a point to record how many diapers I got from my baby shower via a diaper raffle to see if the numbers would hold true. I followed the numbers for my second child, and they were pretty accurate again. So, I used approximately 308 newborn diapers (pampers are what the hospital carries, and they're usually the smallest of all the brands) and 242 of the size 1 diapers. With Ethan, I favored the Target brand diapers all the way until he was potty trained because they were inexpensive, had great tabs, and covered his bum well. Pampers always felt a bit wet and Huggies had tiny, flimsy tabs. With Leila, I've switched over to babyganics instead because I got tired of smelling a slightly toxic sort of diaper smell with the Target branded ones every time the baby peed or poo-ed. I feel like I'm pickier with the second pregnancy. I also just used the Target sensitive wipes with Ethan, but have switched over to using the Water Wipes for Leila. Because they have more water content, it's easier to wipe poop off the bum. With less wiping, means less irritation as well. It's actually best to just wash them in the sink when possible, but to make it quick or if you're out and about, these wipes are pretty good (but they are heavy!). Oh yea, and lastly, you definitely need a diaper genie. You go through so many diapers that if you can streamline the process to minimize odor and ease of disposal - it's definitely the way to go. Speaking of changing diapers, we also did purchase a changing table on craigslist for $20. It's a back-saver because you don't have to bend over very far. And, anything that can help protect your back from hurting is a win - especially in those early recovery days after birth.
Bottles
Dr. Brown has worked the best for us. We started with the Avent ones, tried the medela, but resorted to the Dr. Brown ones in the end. The Dr. Brown bottle warmer has been super helpful as well. Yes, you could just warm it on the stove, but then you have to worry about a hot stove in the mix, which is not something you want to have to worry about in the middle of the night. The bottle sterilizer though is NOT worth buying. We bought it because we thought we could use it like a sort of bottle dish washer, but alas, it doesn't work that way. We've noticed that the water that gets left from running the sterilizer never really dries on its own. You have to rinse the bottle again in order for it to dry properly. So many extra steps for not much gain. It's easy enough to sterilize once in a blue moon on the stove.
Swaddling
Aiden and Anais is the de facto brand for those muslin swaddles, but I actually found the Little Unicorn company that carries way cuter prints. Also, swaddling can be challenging. This Miracle Blanket has been life-changing because it doesn't have velcro, but really traps those pesky arms from escaping. I now use the swaddle blankets as actual blankets instead and as decor ;o).
Moving the baby
Strollers & carriers: We had first purchased the Britax travel system that came with the infant carrier, base, and compatible stroller for around $300. However, after having our second, I regret purchasing that one because we should have went directly to the Baby Jogger City Stroller that can hold 2 kiddos. At the same time, after using it for a little while now, my main complaint about it is that it's really heavy. So, I guess the jury's out. Go to buy buy baby and try lifting a bunch of strollers and see which one's easiest to use. As far as carriers go, I was gifted the original ergo baby, and that worked very well. Just keep in mind, any carrier you use will be very hot since your baby acts like a little portable heater. For my second, I decided to get the Baby K'tan off of craigslist to see if I would like that sort of thing for the newborn stage. I ended up never using it because I couldn't remember how to use it.
Misc. necessities
Nose Freida snot sucker, saline nose drops, a temperature thermometer (we got the Braun one), large microfiber towels instead of those hooded children towels, Gerber diaper inserts from Target as spit up rags, Amazon prime, and Netflix or your library membership for digital checkouts. Start a booklist now for all those breastfeeding sessions! Yay for apps like Overdrive and hoopla ;o)
Get a presidential welcome (or submit one online); I got one from Obama, but I guess getting one from Trump may not be as appealing.
Sleep makes EVERYTHING better. Trust me. When you're tired, it's like you're doing life on expert level. Relationships get tested, and you get unhappy. Sleep when the baby is sleeping instead of doing laundry or dishes. You will be much better off for it.
>>Post Publish update:
I created an Amazon idea list of newborn baby buys to capture some of the stuff mentioned above with comments: http://a.co/iKtfqOq
First, cherish this time that you're welcoming your first child. It might be your one and only or it might be one of many. But, it will be a very special time because this child is what makes you a mom for the first time. I think back on the time when I was caring for Ethan as a baby, and it just seemed so innocent and special then. Also, you cannot spoil your baby. Nevermind what parents from an older generation say; It is not possible to spoil a baby. It's true that the baby will develop habits based on what you do, but there is time later for setting good behaviors.
It's true that you don't need a lot to take care of a baby, but there are some things that are around these days that make life a bit easier. I remember reading Charles Duhigg's "The Power of Habit" book last year and how in data mining, Target "targets" those that will become new parents because they are uniquely positioned to spend the most money in their lifetime. It makes sense if you think about it. When I was preparing to welcome Ethan, I didn't know what I needed or what was that one item that would save my sanity during those sleepless nights. To a certain point, you do have to try out some things in order to know if it's good for you or not. However, you don't have to buy everything brand new to find out. We bought quite a few things off craigslist or from friends, as well as online consignment shops. There are some purchases that I regret, and I'll get into that further down.
Clothes
Don't buy clothes. Ok, you can buy some that you really like, but trust me, you will receive so many as gifts even if you never asked for them. This day in age, clothes are so easy to come by and have the highest turnover under the age of 1. You don't know if your baby will come out as a super chubster where they might skip the newborn size entirely, or if they're in that size for a month or so. Regardless, the size of newborn, 3 months, 3-6 months, 6 months, etc., all the way up to 12 months will fly by. Your kid will not start wearing the same clothes for more than a few months until they hit a year. Do buy quality clothes like from Gap over Carter's for better resale value. There are apps like Totspot and ThredUp where you can buy baby clothes that are brand new with tags or only slightly worn (because babies grow so quickly). Socks are kind of pointless because they never stay on, and don't buy too many of one thing. For example, you won't know if you'll just want to put your baby in onesies all day or in cute outfits for photo ops. You'll only know once they're here and all the clothes are only a click away.
Breastfeeding
If you plan on breastfeeding, know that it will be difficult. Throwing some formula into a bottle with some water is so much faster and easier than having to maintain breastfeeding. Yes, you have to wash a lot of bottles, but I'm sure it's easier than having to wash oily breastmilk from bottles (the unscented Dapple dish cleanser is my fav), dealing with sore/cracked nipples, or just trying to maintain some modesty while feeding your baby while eating out. But, they always says breast is best, so I suppose it's worth it to stick to it. It's super important to get the latch right early in the game. If you don't, you will suffer for a long while. You can get a free electric breast pump from your insurance these days. I went through the Target program this time around to get mine, and was able to get an electric medela one. The breast friend pillow is superior to the boppy. But, there are times when the boppy can come in handy as well like to prop up your baby or do a modified tummy time. I favor the Lansinoh disposable nursing pads as well as milk storage bags. The full busted, seamless nursing sleep bra from Motherhood maternity is my favorite bra for all-time use while not working. For my second baby, I was introduced to the Milkies Milk-Saver, which has been great for collecting milk while nursing on the other side. I've collected so much milk that I don't need to pump to develop a freezer stash, and I don't feel as bad tossing milk that has gone beyond 4 days in the refrigerator.
Diapers
When I was pregnant with Ethan, I asked a 2-time mom to give me a ballpark figure of how many diapers she went through in the beginning stages. I also made a point to record how many diapers I got from my baby shower via a diaper raffle to see if the numbers would hold true. I followed the numbers for my second child, and they were pretty accurate again. So, I used approximately 308 newborn diapers (pampers are what the hospital carries, and they're usually the smallest of all the brands) and 242 of the size 1 diapers. With Ethan, I favored the Target brand diapers all the way until he was potty trained because they were inexpensive, had great tabs, and covered his bum well. Pampers always felt a bit wet and Huggies had tiny, flimsy tabs. With Leila, I've switched over to babyganics instead because I got tired of smelling a slightly toxic sort of diaper smell with the Target branded ones every time the baby peed or poo-ed. I feel like I'm pickier with the second pregnancy. I also just used the Target sensitive wipes with Ethan, but have switched over to using the Water Wipes for Leila. Because they have more water content, it's easier to wipe poop off the bum. With less wiping, means less irritation as well. It's actually best to just wash them in the sink when possible, but to make it quick or if you're out and about, these wipes are pretty good (but they are heavy!). Oh yea, and lastly, you definitely need a diaper genie. You go through so many diapers that if you can streamline the process to minimize odor and ease of disposal - it's definitely the way to go. Speaking of changing diapers, we also did purchase a changing table on craigslist for $20. It's a back-saver because you don't have to bend over very far. And, anything that can help protect your back from hurting is a win - especially in those early recovery days after birth.
Bottles
Dr. Brown has worked the best for us. We started with the Avent ones, tried the medela, but resorted to the Dr. Brown ones in the end. The Dr. Brown bottle warmer has been super helpful as well. Yes, you could just warm it on the stove, but then you have to worry about a hot stove in the mix, which is not something you want to have to worry about in the middle of the night. The bottle sterilizer though is NOT worth buying. We bought it because we thought we could use it like a sort of bottle dish washer, but alas, it doesn't work that way. We've noticed that the water that gets left from running the sterilizer never really dries on its own. You have to rinse the bottle again in order for it to dry properly. So many extra steps for not much gain. It's easy enough to sterilize once in a blue moon on the stove.
Swaddling
Aiden and Anais is the de facto brand for those muslin swaddles, but I actually found the Little Unicorn company that carries way cuter prints. Also, swaddling can be challenging. This Miracle Blanket has been life-changing because it doesn't have velcro, but really traps those pesky arms from escaping. I now use the swaddle blankets as actual blankets instead and as decor ;o).
Moving the baby
Strollers & carriers: We had first purchased the Britax travel system that came with the infant carrier, base, and compatible stroller for around $300. However, after having our second, I regret purchasing that one because we should have went directly to the Baby Jogger City Stroller that can hold 2 kiddos. At the same time, after using it for a little while now, my main complaint about it is that it's really heavy. So, I guess the jury's out. Go to buy buy baby and try lifting a bunch of strollers and see which one's easiest to use. As far as carriers go, I was gifted the original ergo baby, and that worked very well. Just keep in mind, any carrier you use will be very hot since your baby acts like a little portable heater. For my second, I decided to get the Baby K'tan off of craigslist to see if I would like that sort of thing for the newborn stage. I ended up never using it because I couldn't remember how to use it.
Misc. necessities
Nose Freida snot sucker, saline nose drops, a temperature thermometer (we got the Braun one), large microfiber towels instead of those hooded children towels, Gerber diaper inserts from Target as spit up rags, Amazon prime, and Netflix or your library membership for digital checkouts. Start a booklist now for all those breastfeeding sessions! Yay for apps like Overdrive and hoopla ;o)
Get a presidential welcome (or submit one online); I got one from Obama, but I guess getting one from Trump may not be as appealing.
Sleep makes EVERYTHING better. Trust me. When you're tired, it's like you're doing life on expert level. Relationships get tested, and you get unhappy. Sleep when the baby is sleeping instead of doing laundry or dishes. You will be much better off for it.
>>Post Publish update:
I created an Amazon idea list of newborn baby buys to capture some of the stuff mentioned above with comments: http://a.co/iKtfqOq
Such a good post. I look forward to revisiting this when I become a mother. : )
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