I've been wanting to write a reflective post about my new year's resolutions like I usually do every year. I've had one in my drafts for quite a few weeks, but was never really happy with it. I think I was searching for an overarching theme or motto for the year that would inspire me to tie it all together. I think I have found it.
For the past two years, I haven't set any new year resolutions because I've busied myself with becoming a mom and figuring out how to live a fulfilling family life. I thought to myself that I wouldn't have the time to set resolutions with small, attainable goals and the willpower to follow through with them. Lucas reminds me that many years ago I had even questioned whether or not it was necessary to create new year resolutions. I had the opinion that if you wanted to change something about yourself, you didn't need to wait for a new year to do it. After being so complacent about it, I've realized the importance of setting new year resolutions. By just letting life happen to me, I let circumstances control my fate and well-being. I was not in control of my own happiness. I mean, yea, I made my own decisions and wasn't following anyone else's orders, but without planning for what I wanted in life, I didn't end up with very many accomplishments in the end. There's that one saying, "If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail." So, I want to try to avoid that.
This year, it's going to be all about, "Try." My favorite author once said in an interview, "Done is better than good." She was trying to express that it's better to show up, do the work, and hope for the best. It's better than the alternative of never having even tried because of perfectionism, indecision, and fear. So, I want to try this year to be a better version of myself because I want to be a better version of myself. I want to try reaching my goals, so that I can create a life that's fully enjoyed with no regrets. I'm going to try...
1. Feel better about myself
2. Help Lucas be happy (after all, happy husband is happy life, that's how it goes, right?)
In the pursuit of feeling better about myself, there's the usual lose weight goal, but there's so much more as well. I want to focus more on my mental and spiritual well-being this year. First, I want to have a stronger sense of security by understanding my finances more. I want to really understand what our cash flow is like and be able to save for worthwhile investments. Last year, I became quite the consumer, and am ashamed of it. Next, I want to stop feeling sorry for being late to things. This is a habitual problem for me because I am the worst in prioritizing my time. Youtube marathons are fun, but don't give me lasting gratification like finishing projects do. I need to improve my self-image/self-esteem by making time to work out and attempt to eat less. Portion control has been my vice ever since I gave birth and breastfeeding turned me into a hungry, hungry hippo. Perhaps I can attempt to have sugar-free mornings, or even attempt a 7 day sugar detox? I need to reclaim more of what Eleen used to be before I became a mother by journaling more and enjoying music again. Music was my favorite pastime my entire life. I've stopped regularly listening to music I enjoy ever since Ethan was born, which is sad because music speaks to my soul somehow and brings my mind to a better place no matter the circumstances. Lastly, I want to learn to tame my pride. I never thought of myself as a prideful person, but I have a really bad habit of needing to be right all the time. This usually manifests itself the most when I'm talking with my mom, which we all know, is stupidly futile. Moms are always right.
I think I may be able to help improve my mental and spiritual well-being by really trying to find a church to join this year. It would be nice to come back to God and have more faith in his plan for my life. It would take the pressure and the guilt off of myself by focusing on my faith. I think it would also be nice for Ethan to start learning about the church, so that he could develop a good foundation for ethics and morals. So far, I've found my bff's church on podcasts and have been listening to Pastor Rankin on my commute to and from work. It has really inspired me and opened my eyes to the issues that weigh me down without even realizing they exist. The next step would be to actually find a church community to embed our little family into, so that we can start building roots out here.
In the pursuit of helping Lucas be happy, I want to make sure that he is doing okay. It's so easy for me, as a mom, to lose myself in making sure Ethan is happy. But, if the father is not happy, then the mom would not be happy, and as a result, create a poor environment for Ethan to thrive. I want to make sure I'm doing everything I can do to speak his love languages and care for his needs like I did before we had a baby. Although we can't go off on as many international vacations like we used to, we can still do little things that help improve the quality of our everyday lives. Whether it's encouraging him to take a weekend trip home to get some R&R time with his family, or hiring someone to help us prepare food for the week to take the stress off of him when he gets home every night with Ethan, there are so many things I can control to help make our lives more enjoyable. After all, it's our relationship that came first, in order for us to have Ethan, and he's the one I'll be growing old with after Ethan goes off to college. So, it's important that I continue to always make our relationship a priority.
Well, that's pretty much it in a nutshell. I realize that these goals don't have specific details so that they would be attainable over the course of the year, but I'll get to that eventually. At least I can keep referring back to this to prompt myself every month to try and make some baby steps towards accomplishing these goals. All I can ask of myself is to try. So, here I go 2016, let's give you a try.
For the past two years, I haven't set any new year resolutions because I've busied myself with becoming a mom and figuring out how to live a fulfilling family life. I thought to myself that I wouldn't have the time to set resolutions with small, attainable goals and the willpower to follow through with them. Lucas reminds me that many years ago I had even questioned whether or not it was necessary to create new year resolutions. I had the opinion that if you wanted to change something about yourself, you didn't need to wait for a new year to do it. After being so complacent about it, I've realized the importance of setting new year resolutions. By just letting life happen to me, I let circumstances control my fate and well-being. I was not in control of my own happiness. I mean, yea, I made my own decisions and wasn't following anyone else's orders, but without planning for what I wanted in life, I didn't end up with very many accomplishments in the end. There's that one saying, "If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail." So, I want to try to avoid that.
This year, it's going to be all about, "Try." My favorite author once said in an interview, "Done is better than good." She was trying to express that it's better to show up, do the work, and hope for the best. It's better than the alternative of never having even tried because of perfectionism, indecision, and fear. So, I want to try this year to be a better version of myself because I want to be a better version of myself. I want to try reaching my goals, so that I can create a life that's fully enjoyed with no regrets. I'm going to try...
1. Feel better about myself
2. Help Lucas be happy (after all, happy husband is happy life, that's how it goes, right?)
In the pursuit of feeling better about myself, there's the usual lose weight goal, but there's so much more as well. I want to focus more on my mental and spiritual well-being this year. First, I want to have a stronger sense of security by understanding my finances more. I want to really understand what our cash flow is like and be able to save for worthwhile investments. Last year, I became quite the consumer, and am ashamed of it. Next, I want to stop feeling sorry for being late to things. This is a habitual problem for me because I am the worst in prioritizing my time. Youtube marathons are fun, but don't give me lasting gratification like finishing projects do. I need to improve my self-image/self-esteem by making time to work out and attempt to eat less. Portion control has been my vice ever since I gave birth and breastfeeding turned me into a hungry, hungry hippo. Perhaps I can attempt to have sugar-free mornings, or even attempt a 7 day sugar detox? I need to reclaim more of what Eleen used to be before I became a mother by journaling more and enjoying music again. Music was my favorite pastime my entire life. I've stopped regularly listening to music I enjoy ever since Ethan was born, which is sad because music speaks to my soul somehow and brings my mind to a better place no matter the circumstances. Lastly, I want to learn to tame my pride. I never thought of myself as a prideful person, but I have a really bad habit of needing to be right all the time. This usually manifests itself the most when I'm talking with my mom, which we all know, is stupidly futile. Moms are always right.
I think I may be able to help improve my mental and spiritual well-being by really trying to find a church to join this year. It would be nice to come back to God and have more faith in his plan for my life. It would take the pressure and the guilt off of myself by focusing on my faith. I think it would also be nice for Ethan to start learning about the church, so that he could develop a good foundation for ethics and morals. So far, I've found my bff's church on podcasts and have been listening to Pastor Rankin on my commute to and from work. It has really inspired me and opened my eyes to the issues that weigh me down without even realizing they exist. The next step would be to actually find a church community to embed our little family into, so that we can start building roots out here.
In the pursuit of helping Lucas be happy, I want to make sure that he is doing okay. It's so easy for me, as a mom, to lose myself in making sure Ethan is happy. But, if the father is not happy, then the mom would not be happy, and as a result, create a poor environment for Ethan to thrive. I want to make sure I'm doing everything I can do to speak his love languages and care for his needs like I did before we had a baby. Although we can't go off on as many international vacations like we used to, we can still do little things that help improve the quality of our everyday lives. Whether it's encouraging him to take a weekend trip home to get some R&R time with his family, or hiring someone to help us prepare food for the week to take the stress off of him when he gets home every night with Ethan, there are so many things I can control to help make our lives more enjoyable. After all, it's our relationship that came first, in order for us to have Ethan, and he's the one I'll be growing old with after Ethan goes off to college. So, it's important that I continue to always make our relationship a priority.
Well, that's pretty much it in a nutshell. I realize that these goals don't have specific details so that they would be attainable over the course of the year, but I'll get to that eventually. At least I can keep referring back to this to prompt myself every month to try and make some baby steps towards accomplishing these goals. All I can ask of myself is to try. So, here I go 2016, let's give you a try.
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